“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia
Exactly 3 years ago today I had the conversation no one wants to have.
Of course, I remember it word-for-word.
“The tumor board met this morning and, after reviewing Jan’s most recent CT scan, we are discharging her to hospice care”, Dr. Wang pronounced in the softest, most caring voice imaginable. “Jan fought, we all had hopes we were winning, but the results are clear. Her brain cancer, even with aggressive chemo, has more than doubled in size.”
What happens now… what happens next… what can we do?
Never before had we faced such a life-then-death situation.
It was then that I learned that the next step is the most natural process of all.
We would simply return home to the pond, and permit the hospice process to unfold.
No more tests.
No more false hopes.
Just let the end-of-life process naturally remove the vital life force still present in my dear wife.
Yes, we would care for her with all our love and affection… cramming 20 more years of love and legacy into a 6-day march into the loving arms of Jesus.
And so it is now three years later…
Many people think the idea of moving on seems heartless.
Many like to equate moving on with moving forward.
I believe that almost from the moment you learn what hospice care is, and what it isn’t, death loses its sting, and we accept that it is just the natural, although final, step we as humans must all take.
As you will learn in my book, this process was just what Jan and I needed.
No longer in a race for the cure, we were fully engaged in caring for each other.
Of course, there are tears and emotional lows, but still a natural bonding… capping 30 perfect years of marriage.
Our first date was January 9, 1991, and Jan passed exactly 30 years to the day… on January 9, 2022.
Life is precious. Death is final.
But love endures.
I live in Grace and expect to die in Grace.
When you decide to follow the principles of GRACE: Gratitude… Resilience… Authenticity… Creativity… and Empathy… you will certainly shorten the time you remain in grief.
God Bless,
Eric Richard Haas
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