The Healing Power of Grace…

In this MP3 Download audio session, you will feel the Healing Power of Grace from Warning… to Prayer… to Dedication… to the stunning Preface by Doctor Phill Roberts who discusses the recent losses of his Sister to Covid, and the Suicide loss of his son. He writes…

In a perfect world, no parent would outlive their children. Spouses would pass away hand-in-hand in their sleep together. Eliminating the grief that comes with the loss of a loved one would do wonders for mankind. But the world isn’t perfect. And death is very much a part of life for most folks. As painful as it may be, it’s exacerbated by the way we’ve been conditioned to process loss. We’re told that the five stages of grief are just how we’re wired. Going through denial, anger, bargaining and depression are how we’re told we finally arrive at acceptance.

It’s a cold, if not clinical way to look at it. It lacks benevolence. Grieve With Grace is a new and improved way for you to face loss. It offers the healing power of Grace, not the cold understanding of why you are angry and depressed.

Also…

You will understand the truth about death from Dr. Joe Rubino, a world-famous expert on Self-Esteem in both adults and children.

Doctor Rubino’s words offer true hope to people who only see their losses in the face of grief, not Grace…

We do not cease to exist. We merely change state by returning to our true timeless eternal form as we discard a body that is no longer needed in the spiritual realm where we will reunite with loved ones and continue our eternal existence. This is what E. R. refers to as “increasing our State of Grace.”

 

Just as one would discard a heavy coat when going from a cold environment to a warm and welcoming abode, we simply discard our material bodies in favor of spiritual ones more appropriate for “living” in the eternal realm.

Knowing that death is merely a transition to a state that is devoid of pain, suffering, and the limitations we experience on Earth, we can look forward to the day when we will reunite with those who went before us, realizing that death involves the body only—never the spirit. Reminding ourselves that “it is all good” and part of God’s master plan allows us to better take on the process of “grieving with grace.”

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My 30-Year Candlelight Love Story…

You hold in your hands a candle-light love story 30 years in the making with a “death do us part” ending that took just 90 days to snuff out. It is sad, but full of inspiration. You will find hope.

If you are lost in the torrents of grief and anguish, you will find our story compelling. It will give you direction. It will give you hope.

Janice Mary Haas, my wonderful wife died from incurable brain cancer—an amazing life cut short and left my future blurred and my family despondent. Ours was a marriage full of joy and delight. We had the “happily ever after” people crave.

Being a CEO I am constantly faced with good and bad choices. I have found that there is always a better way to do something. You just have to do the work to find it. It turns out there is a better way to cross the chasm of grief. Not to merely understand the process, but to authentically become the new person you need to be.

The healing power of Grace provides life after grief—a far better way for you to rekindle the joy of living.

To love and be loved again.

The Healing Power of Gratitude…

Due to events beyond your control, your life has changed. The loss of a loved one has altered your life forever.

You will never go back to the “old life” that was before. It is only human that you thoroughly experience the grief of a tremendous loss in your life.

And yet, you are still here. Now what?

There is hope.

Gratitude can open a heart that may have become shut down and it can begin to ease the pain of where you are now. It can nurture a positive image of a new life—different from the past, no doubt—but one that can still have meaning and purpose in what is next.

The love for your beloved can be the force you need to move on—the positive resource you need to get yourself to a new starting point. One that includes a deeply held appreciation for all the gifts of happiness, love, and passion connected to your past and a commitment to extending those same joys and gifts into the future.

As hard as it was for me, and I know it will be hard for you too, you MUST choose Gratitude over despair, anger, and regret. This is where I get a little “preachy” and ask you to either defend your Grief or increase your State of Grace.

The Healing Power of Resilience…

Without Gratitude, it is not possible to become resilient. They are conjoined.

“Aus der Kriegsschule des Lebens. Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker,” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Which can be translated as “Out of life’s school of war—what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”

You have heard this quote your entire life. It is one of those truisms that is actually true.

Each time you face adversity, every time you are knocked down, you have a choice to give up or get up.

With the loss of a loved one, facing adversity means being aware that, against all your hopes, prayers, and wishes, your life has changed. And, it means accepting this tragic change for what it is, even though it isn’t what you want. Where Gratitude opens your heart back up to the gifts of life, Resiliency focuses your mind on the possibility that you can and will make the remaining years of your life the best you can, even if you don’t know what that means yet—or how even to get the ball rolling.

Gratitude is about mental awareness. Resilience is about mental toughness.

The more Resilient you become, the better able you are to overcome the loss of love and deal with the next setback in life’s eternal quest for meaning and purpose.

The Healing Power of Authenticity…

When we are ready to move on from mourning and grieving to joy and living, we must each, in our own way, set the stones in place to build our bridge of Grace over the tumultuous river of lost souls.

Who have you been? How has Gratitude shaped you and those around you? Being Grateful for the challenges and opportunities you have in life is fundamental to your success, and is key to moving from grief to Grace.

Who are you now? How has Resilience made you mentally tough but remarkably kind?

Being Resilient in the face of adversity, especially the loss of someone very important to you, is also a pivotal key to moving from grief to Grace. You can and will bounce back to become a new you, but to do this, you must answer this all-important question…

Who will you be next?

This question is the ultimate test of your Authenticity. Conditions have changed and being the old you is no longer a consideration. The new reality is that loss has changed you, everyone, and everything close to you.

It is this recognition that permits us to transition from incessant grieving to living in Grace. It is this inescapable truth that makes it possible for you to complete your archway of Grace over the river of dread.

The Healing Power of Creativity…

Gratitude requires us to become “glass half full” not “glass half empty” believers. We must become thankful for what we still have and not dwell too long on what we have lost. It is an attitude of Gratitude that sees us through hard times.

Resilience, tenacity, and grit must be our constant companions if we are to move from grief to Grace. If we do not bounce back quickly, we sink further into our own sea of tears. In life, we all get knocked down. How quickly we get back up determines the quality of our life remaining.

Authenticity requires that we look at our lives exactly where we are right now, not through rose-colored glasses to the life we fantasize it to be. It reminds us to look into the mirror, check in with our souls, and decide who we will become as we traverse from grief to Grace. If who you are is not who you aspire to be, grief can give you that big “wake-up call” you need.

Now our discussion turns to the capital C in Grace — Creativity.

As it turns out, this is elemental to moving from grief to Grace. It is the building block that makes us look at our circumstances differently and choose which crayon in the box we will use to fill in the missing colors in our paint-by-numbers dreams.

As a husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, executive, and author my advice is simply this: Follow your creative passions.

Creativity is defined as the tendency to generate or recognize ideas, alternatives, or possibilities that may be useful in solving problems, communicating with others, and entertaining ourselves and others. Creativity is more about seeing and less about doing.

But to Grieve With Grace, we must do both: See and Do.

The Healing Power of Empathy…

Four stones are now laid in our archway. Our bridge of Grace over the raging waters of grief is within sight.

You now know that your choice is continuing in grief for much longer than necessary, or rising above the valley of dread through Grace.

Who can say which of the stones is more important? If you remove any, the bridge crumbles into ruin.

I vowed to treat every single person I met with compassion and an extra dose of kindness.

It was this ordeal that convinced me that kindness, among all other virtues, was divine.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” ~ Lao Tzu

Because Jan and I were bonded at the soul, it was easy for me to empathize with her deteriorating condition—which frightened me more than I can express even now. Never have I felt so deeply, so intimately, what another person felt when being by Jan’s side during this time. I felt her pain in every touch of her hand and every look into her eyes.

As she lay there struggling to breathe, my breath became short and erratic. As she moaned from pain in her sleep, I felt the discomfort and discouragement of her pain that never completely went away. When she said she was done and didn’t want to do this anymore, I knew exactly what she meant.

“Was this helping or hurting?” I wondered. “If I lose my edge, we will lose the war. Hang tough, be a man, fight to the end.” But the answer was never that clear to me.

Can you be empathetic and mentally tough at the same time?

Can you be empathetic, immersing yourself in the painful feelings of another, and at the same time be committed to finding a solution to the pain?

Could I be objective, truly capable of making the decisions that were required of me?

In my case I could, because I had to.

Every day the real, Authentic me had to show up.

With compassion, sympathy, and a heightened level of understanding of what it means to be human. The one person on Earth that I loved more than everything else—combined—was slowly walking the path towards her Heavenly Father. With Empathy, I was holding her hand in this walk as we did every day in life.

She knew, and I knew she knew, that her life would continue in the hereafter while my life continued here. It doesn’t get any more real than this. If you do not feel touched by an angel along this path, you will never be the same again.

You must feel that gentle touch of your guardian angel as you gaze into your loved one’s eyes, or you will walk the treacherous path alone. Not feeling, truly feeling is too frightening to even consider. Know that your guardian angel is here still, to guide you as you build your archway of Grace.

A Graceful Future~A Graceful Life…

My final comments shall be short and sweet. Now that you understand the broad idea, you have a choice: accept Grief or accept Grace.

Or even better said, make Grace a habit, a craving like chocolate, running, or even waking up each morning with a smile on your face.

I believe that to live in Grace we must habitualize Grace. To not just see the words of Grace but to instinctively live them.

As I was sitting with Jan one day towards the end, I doodled out my thoughts and explained them to Jan.

She smiled. I then turned them over to our artists to “clean up”. They were really rough sketches to help me clearly see the path ahead. This is what Kamal created for us. A happy life well above the raging river of grief.

You crossed over the river of lost souls and helped everyone around you avoid the continuing feelings of depression, anger, and denial.

While your loved one remains in your heart and memories, you now walk in Grace toward a life worth living.

A life worthy of the only life you have to live. You hold your head high and bask in the glow of hope that lights your path.