“Love doesn’t die with death. Love is like liquid; when it pours out, it seeps into others’ lives. Love changes form and shape. Love gets into everything. Death doesn’t conquer all; love does. Love wins every single time. Love wins by lasting through death. Love wins by loving more, loving again, loving without fear.”
― Kate O’Neill
I’m Not Sure…
Precisely what it means to lose someone you love.
When Jan passed at 5:15 AM on January 9, 2022, her body succumbed to the ravages of a highly aggressive form of brain cancer—90 days exactly from diagnosis to death.
Clearly, her body is gone but her spirit lives deeply in every breath I take and every thought I think.
After 30 years of the best marriage anyone could hope and pray for, I am left with her legacy, wisdom, and everything that made her “her” is still alive in me today.
No question, I have cried a river of tears moving beyond grief to Grace.
I have lost the physical embodiment of my best friend, theater buddy, lover, wife, and life partner.
But…
In a very real sense, she is still here guiding, persuading, leading, and helping me move on with my life. I feel her presence every morning when I wake, and every night when I say my prayers.
I didn’t realize how close she still was until yesterday when I started to create the program for her Celebration of Life Memorial on November 4, 2022—what will have been her 80th birthday.
I selected over 150 vivid memories from iPhotos. It was as if she was sitting right next to me—reminding me of the wonders of the life we had together. Her spirit was very much alive in me.
My Point…
I believe that Jan is with our Heavenly Father, her spirit very much alive here, and in the hereafter.
We are meant to mourn the loss of the physicality of our loved ones and then move to life after grief. We must Grieve With Grace.
We must live in GRATITUDE for all the wonderful times we had together.
We must become RESILIENT in the full sense of the word. Not remain stranded in grief, but bounce back to the new life ahead of us.
We must, above all else, become truly AUTHENTIC about our feelings, beliefs, and learn to live what we value most. To quickly exit grief and enter Grace, we must become more real than we have ever been—with ourselves and others.
We must find CREATIVE new ways to move forward. While hard, the only way up and out is to create a new path.
And finally, we must move from sympathy to EMPATHY—to actually feel again—not just remain in grief limbo.
Through Grace, we are saved.
And by learning to Grieve With Grace, we find passage to the wonders of life yet to be.
God Bless,
Eric Richard Haas
Build Your Bridge of Grace Over The River of Tears
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