Creativity
To Live With Grace means that you inspire your inner child to come out to play throughout the day! You learn to SEE and FEEL by intentionally “coloring outside the lines”. To recover from loss and grief — or to turn your Time, Talent, and Treasure into Legendary Wealth – you become all you are meant to be when you choose to be actively creative.
Definition: Creativity is just connecting things. It is the ability to connect experiences you have and synthesize new things. Creativity encompasses the ability to discover new and original ideas, connections, and solutions to problems. It’s a part of our drive as humans—fostering resilience, sparking joy, and providing opportunities for self-actualization.
Life requires daily acts of ingenuity and novel workarounds; in this sense, everyone possesses an amazing amount of creativity.
Marriage With Grace™
"Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly." ~ Richard Bach A thought on the future... This past week I edited the full version of...
Hope & Grace
"Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us." ~ Samuel Smiles A Reason to Hope... Our dream is to love and be loved again. It is also our greatest hope in life. So often when we lose a person we love, hope is the...
Our Future
Future Fears Vs. Our Current Loss…
When we lose someone very close to us, as I did Jan, the future seems murky and foreboding.
Bad things have happened to us.
We project that bad things will continue to happen to us.
And fear will control every decision we make and every action we take.
Until we accept our loss…
And accept responsibility for moving forward.
Everyone Grieves Sometime…
Choose Life…
For many of us, the dark times define our life.
And darken our future.
It is important to remember that no one is happy all the time.
No one is sad all the time.
The highs and lows of our life define the rhythm of our beliefs, faith, and actions.
Reflections on Loss
I’m Not Sure…
Precisely what it means to lose someone you love.
When Jan passed at 5:15 AM on January 9, 2022, her body succumbed to the ravages of a highly aggressive form of brain cancer—90 days exactly from diagnosis to death.
Clearly, her body is gone but her spirit lives deeply in every breath I take and every thought I think.
After 30 years of the best marriage anyone could hope and pray for, I am left with her legacy, wisdom, and everything that made her “her” is still alive in me today.
The Grace Habit
An Important Tool For Healing…
So much of our lives are spent in search of meaning and purpose, especially during a time of pain and suffering.
The other day, as we were wrapping up a Grief Share session, I advised a young woman that she would carry her grief and pain until she made Grace a habit.
Every time she mentioned her departed husband’s name she would break into uncontrollable tears. Just hearing his name, or speaking it triggered a torrent of tears.
Quite inadvertently she had made grief and crying an unwelcome habit.
Feeling Angry?
Remember, To Love and Be Loved you Must Love…
Much of the time I spent in anger—with God, the doctors, my pitiful life, everything—was nothing more than wasted energy and ultimately, wasted life.
It is so easy to fall into the anger trap but, like a mouse, if you don’t chase the cheese you won’t get caught!
What is hard to understand is that it is impossible to love when your heart is filled with hate.
Sure, you will intellectually get it, but our emotions create a blockage that short circuits our belief that anger is robbing us of love.
Grace Matters
Grace Matters Because…
In the end, we either take our grief to the grave or lift up our spirit—here and now—in Grace.
Years ago I lost a dear friend to the Viet Nam conflict, war, or whatever the politically correct would call it.
Kenny was the best of the best and graduated at the top of his class at the Air Force Academy, flew jets, and in his 25 short years, lived his life on purpose and with Grace.
For the past 50 years, I have thought about him and why I lived and he died.
It just didn’t seem right somehow.
He was stronger, faster, smarter, and a tremendously gifted leader.
The Letter We Alone Must Write
You are Not Alone…
When we have lost a loved one, we start to feel the clutching sorrow of loneliness and despair. We start to believe we have been left alone, and we will never love or be loved again.
Alone in the crowd is a terrible, empty feeling.
One of the hardest assignments that a grief or Grace counselor hands out is writing a letter to your loved one.
For a long time, only the tears flow, stopping you from even organizing your thoughts.
Over time, you start to see a flicker of light, light shining on what might be a pathway out of your terrible pain, leading to your new life.
Monday I wrote from my heart.
Today, it feels as if I am finally resolved to my loss, and accepting of my future without the one woman I loved more than life itself.
Was… Is… Will Be…
The 3 Giant Questions of Moving from Grieving to Living in Grace…
We are now done with the principal writing of Grieve With Grace™.
Now, the hard part of writing—accepting critical thinking, review, and most importantly, editing.
Yes, accepting the advice of others is key to creating a product that will perform as intended, in this case, help people move from grief to Grace.
This week as we were discussing direction and writing style, the idea of the word “Acceptance” came into focus.
Where grief ends in Acceptance—accepting the loss of someone close to you—a new life begins with Accepting responsibility for moving forward with your life.
No question, Acceptance is the endpoint of grief and the Starting Point for Grace.
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Really, Me?
"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair." ~ C. S. Lewis The Journey From Despair to Grace... I like to think of...
Grief-Stricken vs. Grace-Stricken
You Are Just…
Grief-stricken and everything will be ok…
Over time you will feel better and not hurt so much…
You just need to get over it and snapback…
If you have experienced a great loss you have heard these words. Maybe not exactly the same words but the same meaning and intent.
People, especially those close to you, have no idea what to say to help, so they express their feelings in odd ways. Usually with what they think you want to hear.
The Power of Authenticity
The Power Authenticity Has Over Your Life…
Psychologists define Authenticity as someone who isn’t afraid to be true to who they are, including their personality, values, and principles in life. They don’t bother compromising the entirety of who they are just for the comfort of others.
If you need to cry, you cry.
If you need to shelter yourself, you do it.
You never betray your core values in hopes of being accepted rather than being authentic.
When happy, sad, or when moving from grief to Grace.